Hapless Michael Hogg, 33, and Andrew Wood, 28, thought they'd make some easy cash after they spotted the pile of "money" on a window sill.
Hogg smashed the window at the home in Hartlepool while his partner in crime acted as a look out.
But the house owner was woken by banging and voices and went downstairs, ultimately scaring the duo off.
He discovered the broken window and the packet of novelty tissues lying on the floor.
Hogg and Wood were arrested after an alert neighbor called the police. They were jailed for a total of more than seven years after they pleaded guilty.
The judge said both were persistent criminals and the public needed to be protected from them.
Hogg's long record included 40 convictions for 61 offenses including other house thefts. Woods was even worse with 73 convictions for 144 offenses.